50 Shades of Blue – The Progressively Depressing Politics of BHO

I’m feeling blue and it has all to do with a grey area. For the past two weeks, all I’ve been reading is that medical marijuana is gonna be over in the state of Washington and that hash oil (BHO the way we like it) will never be legal. Before anyone says it, yes I am well aware of the home explosions I have to thank for that, even if I myself have never dabbed home-runs, let alone blasted a can. I love my BHO dabs (real shocker, right—alert the press), I earnestly do. I love the application, the science, the tools, the people, the culture, the pipes and HELL YES, the high. I am dabs and dabs are me, and truthfully I’m tickled pink about it.

So if the topic is “medical marijuana”, I guess I’m a dastardly part of what the Washington attorney general called a “sham”. I’ve been known to drop full gram BHOmbs on $1,000 rigs and then collect high fives from dispensary staffers and oil farmers. That’s not exactly the portrait of MMJ use Dr. Sanjay Gupta showed on CNN. I am obviously the guy who found the shady doctor and bought a Rx to ride dirty and play Drugstore Cowboy around the Pac Northwest #sarcasm. In the eyes of any MMJ critic, I must be Lucifer as my moniker suggests.

Well sit on it and rotate, John Q. Hater, because that is not the case at all. Long-time readers may remember that I was introduced to dabs in the first place for pain management. We’re not talking hypochondria either. We’re talking two slipped discs, matching MRIs and prescribed Vicodin. I do like “highs” and opiates are no joke, I was already playing with fire if you want to talk addiction. Furthermore, consistent intake was increasing my tolerance (not that I am going to waste words discussing opiate concerns). My naturopath was thrilled to get me off opiate painkillers and so was I. Suffice to say that America loves codeine’s side effects right alongside (or more than) its pain relief, so much that we look the other way when it comes to its consequences. That don’t make it right, people— not even close. It is the memory of hydrocodone that brought about both this lengthy intro and my angst. What about the “med-creants”? Yep, give yourself a star, it’s a portmanteau for Medicational and Recreational User, and a term I am coining for those of us in a truly unique grey area.

So where then does all this leave me? I will never return to painkillers—seems the FDA (finally) doesn’t want me there anyway. No shit… The dabs were working, as they are a concentrated solution for very real pain after all. You’ve got to love the irony: the extra amplitude of BHO was recommended because of my recreational flower use. Do you see where I’m going here? If anyone has a suggestion that leads to me not being screwed, I’d love to hear it. Because it sure sounds to me like my options are as follows:

• Opiates. Nope, let’s just stop there.
• Purge my tolerance and smoke flowers taxed at 27%. Again, an option, but not really. The first time I smoked Seattle weed, I hadn’t smoked in 2 years. Though I was higher than I’d ever been, on flowers, the pain still remains.
• Concentrate infused medibles. This hands down has to be the one that chaps my balls the most. I love to smoke, so medibles have never been for me (for the most part). You’re never going to sell me on adding calories to pure THC as my “daily driver”.

Pretty shitty, right? I agree, and surely do not have any suggestions, let alone answers. It’s why I’ve never covered BHO politically in the past. It’s just too damn easy to get down on dabs and way too hard to defend them against ignorance. Dabbing is my thing and it’s looks like it’s back to “the streets” if I want them. I must say I take umbrage Washington State—I take umbrage. When push comes to shove, I know you’ve got no problem with the process done right. Butane is used to process vanilla and other extracts every day; we craft beers and distill vodkas all over this great state of ours in environments just as safe as a proper oil lab. If you want to craft at home you can; you are still welcome to go out and buy better, more intense liquor. I used to be able to do the same with weed and now I can’t.

In closing, I would just like to make certain I am understood clearly. In the Civil War on weed, I’m a niche within a niche. I am a dab enthusiast who also finds real medical relief with concentrates. I am also not a moron despite the #dabsondabs. I am well aware of the lack of necessity in getting as baked as I do at times. I am also aware that it is my prerogative. In a nation with more prerogatives than opinions and in a time where it seems most anyone (rational) is getting their way, the dabbers are out. Though it isn’t right, it is understandable why 502 is determined to gut MMJ. What I don’t understand is the c–k block on “hard weed”. Drunk driving deaths don’t prevent $5,000 bottles of “heady” booze from being made or sold. Thus, the stigmas associated with BHO should not disqualify it either. Don’t worry; I am not going on a double standard rant…it would take too long. I’m just pretty pissed off and wanted to tell you why. Thanks for listening. #weedist