First NFL Season Sans Prohibition

After what seemed an interminably long offseason (at least to football fans), the NFL is finally back into action. This marks the first year that cannabis is legal in my home state of Washington, and the year is likely going to be littered with unique experiences. Among such experiences, stands the first NFL season where weed is legal (and where MPP asks the NFL to do more on supporting cannabis reform).

I am a lifelong, diehard 49er fan. I live in Seattle, but it was not always so. I spent the first part of my life as a Californian. I hail from the days of Joe Montana and Jerry Rice (#80 is my all-time favorite). I left California at a time when the Niners were flailing miserably and came to Seattle, a town that had a markedly more watered-down enthusiasm about football than that to which I was accustomed. I immediately understood why. The Seahawks, like nearly every other Seattle sports team, has a grand tendency of tripping at the finish line. It was easy to be blasé about mediocre to downright shitty teams in a place that had not won a championship in anything since the Supersonics in the 1970’s (the team that was sold off to OKC, by the way).

The dismal Niners and the general malaise about Seattle franchise teams left me disinterested with football altogether. I more or less stopped caring.

A funny thing happened in 2011. Both the Seahawks and the Niners began to plant seeds of potential championship caliber teams that are this year starting to bear fruit. After the Seahawks lost to the Niners for the second time in 2011’s Christmas Eve game, a longtime friend and passionate Seahawks freak called me just bitching up a storm. He used far too colorful language for me to cheapen with good taste or paraphrasing, but the gist is that he was blaming me personally for the losses and he was extra upset because, in his words, “you don’t even give a shit anymore.” These two teams comprise what is quickly becoming one of the stronger rivalries in the NFL.

I laughed so hard my side hurt. I began to cursorily track the Hawks and Niners, not because I really cared, but I sure did/do enjoy his fanrage. This year it’s different. I mean, I still love his fanrage and hope every week that the Niners dominate and the Seahawks fall on their faces, as I told him, “the Seahawks not making the Super Bowl is like me winning my own personal Lombardi.” This year, I really care. I am genuinely invested in my team again. Some may call me a fair-weather fan, but I disagree. Seahawk trolling and some good-natured fan-hate rekindled a love of the Niners, and football in general, that has been dormant in me for a long while. I feel like a kid again. This Sunday hosts another battle between these rivals, as the Niners come into town (and hopefully drive the Hawks mad with defeat).

It is all the more thrilling a season now that I can puff tough on gameday and have a nice heady sativa to compliment my Belgian ale and chili. I can only hope that the NFL (and sports in general) stops caring so much that a player likes to get stoned. Sure, not on game day, not in practice, not when it really can be a hindrance to greatness. But after taking that kind of damage on a Sunday, I can hardly begrudge these players if they choose cannabis over Vicodin.

Some cool ideas now that cannabis is legal in WA:

1. If you’re not actually at the stadium, how about some marijuanagating? That’s right, tailgating with cannabis! This may prove tricky to do if you’re literally trying to tailgate in a public parking lot or something, but you can still have a private tailgating/NFL party featuring cannabis. You could even get some cannabeer!

2. Turn your favorite NFL drinking game into a NFL smoking game. When I was but a ripe youth, my friends played a game called “drink,” wherein you had to drink whenever anyone said the word “drink.” Since cannabis tends to dampen the competitive dickishness that comes with drinking games, I would say just make some rules like smoking a bowl on each of your teams first downs, maybe another at each touchdown. I’ll smoke two for each time the Hawks have a turnover!

3. If you are fortunate enough to go to the stadium on game day, how about taking some edibles or a tincture? If you’re not able to get them by security, you could always power-eat what you have and let the sweet cannabis slowly time-release throughout the game. Personally, I would try some cannabis gummies or something tiny I could scuttle in. Hey, we all love being stoned, even more so when you aren’t getting wallet-raped for $15 Pabst beer. For those who can attend, the official policy of CenturyLink Field (home to the Hawks) doesn’t expressly mention cannabis, it does however state that the following is prohibited:

• Behavior that is unruly, disruptive or illegal in nature
• Intoxication or other signs of alcohol or substance impairment that results in irresponsible behavior
• Foul or abusive language or obscene gestures
• Interference with the progress of the game (including throwing objects onto the field)
• Failing to follow instructions of stadium personnel
• Verbal or physical harassment of opposing team fans
• Verbal or physical harassment of stadium guests and staff members
• Smoking or tobacco use on CenturyLink Field property

It seems to me that if you can get your edibles/vapes past the security check and you aren’t a screaming D-bag, you should be in good shape to have a stoney day on the gridiron.

Whatever your fan colors be, I set aside all rivalries and raise the bong to my fellow NFL stoners out there! I will smoke hearty for those of you that aren’t fortunate enough to live in a state that saw the stupidity of prohibition. I’ll smoke two for all the closet Niner fans living in WA or CO!