McGruff the Crime Dog Sentenced to 16 Years in Prison

This bit of news looks like something that tumbled out of a Second City improv sketch, but, as usual, truth is stranger than fiction. An out of work actor who used to portray McGruff the Crime Dog was sentenced to 16 years in prison for drug and weapon charges.

John R. Morales, a (relatively) unknown actor was arrested near Galveston, Texas in 2011. He was pulled over for speeding, but drug-sniffing dogs detected the presence of marijuana and further scrutiny was given to Morales. As an aside, I’m not familiar with Texas state law other than hearing about some of the less than respectable tactics they have used to persecute marijuana smokers. So, maybe it’s my West Coast geography talking when I say that I think it’s kinda weird that a routine speeding stop comes complete with drug-sniffing dogs.

However, this is not the stage upon which to discuss Texas law enforcement policy. Mostly because after the dogs established probable cause, cops found blue-prints for indoor growhouses on the front seat and cannabis seeds in the trunk.

A further search of Morales’s home found him to be in possession of more than a thousand pot plants, just under 30 weapons (including a grenade launcher), and more than 9,000 rounds of ammunition.

Clearly, this is not your average stoner just trying to grow their own stash or a collective garden growing for medical marijuana patients. This is some black market, defend the crop with your life type shit that fuels the negative sterotype of marijuana and violence.

McGruff’s influence on Morales must have been short lived and about as effective as the D.A.R.E. disaster.

Beyond the ironic humor of this story, it further shows just how much crime prohibition facilitates.

I’m not going to defend Morales. He was clearly not interested in abiding by regulations or striving to establish a responsible and compliant cannabis dispensary, he was trying to start a mini cartel for himself. This is a guy who wants to be a druglord and pretend he’s Scarface. We are better off with him in prison.

But we cannot overlook the fact that, had marijuana been legal, this idiot wouldn’t have been trying to mastermind an illegal cannabis ring. Now, playing with the deck of cards that Morales has, it is fair to assume that he would have gotten himself into trouble in some other way, he did try and drive through Texas with pot seeds and Texas is maybe the last place on Earth I would try to get away with marijuana. (And why the fuck would you speed knowing you have that shit in your car?).

Furthermore, I have to wonder (especially in Texas) which of the two offenses garnered the more severe penalty. Sadly, I’m betting that having marijuana in his possession lengthened his sentence more than having a grenade launcher, almost 30 guns, and over 9,000 rounds of ammunition. When we think about which has the greater potential to cause havoc, how is there even a debate? You are welcome to come blow pot smoke in my face, but try it with a gun and one of us is bound to end up in the hospital (at least). It’s one thing to ponder whether alcohol is more dangerous than marijuana (it is, by the way, to an incredible degree). But deciding which is safer, pot or a grenade, is something a child could tell you.

Legalize it and strip the criminals of this means of income. I bet that Texas has some more severe crime to stop than cracking down on pot, but seizures supplement a good amount of the police budget and stoners don’t generally put up much of a fight. Frankly I’d rather dump all those resources into combating the national meth problem that is ACTUALLY destroying lives and funding crime.

I do want to say that though I think D.A.R.E. was/is a complete clusterfuck-waste of time, the McGruff folks are trying to teach kids how to be safe and generally be aware of crime as a phenomenon and I support their mission. It’s a shame that their image has been dragged through the Texas mud.