Five of the Best & Worst Strain Names

The world of weed has brought us an incredible array of different strains. With growers producing hybrids and new varieties all the time, finding the right name for a new strain requires some creativity. Some come up with names that really hit the nail on the head, but some seem to miss the mark by miles and leave one wondering what they were thinking.

I have compiled a list of some of the best and worst strain names. Now I know ‘best’ and ‘worst’ can be subjective, so don’t worry, this is merely based on my own assessment. That being said, without further ado, I present to my fellow weedists, five of the best and worst strain names.

Five of the Best Strain Names

1. Fucking Incredible

If there was ever a strain that made me want to smoke it just upon hearing its name, it’s one that sounds Fucking Incredible. A pure indica known for its euphoric and relaxing effects, this earthy strain is one it’d be hard to pass up. As far as strain names go, this one is surely one of the best. I’ve always been a straight-forward woman, and this strain tells it like it is. How could I not want to smoke a strain that is fucking incredible?

2. Euphoria

Ah, Euphoria. The dictionary defines it as, “a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.” The word conjures an image of true peace and elation, a feeling we all are chasing throughout the rat race life. Cannabis, I would venture to say, brings a sense of euphoria to many who indulge. This particular florally strain is known for being uplifting and inducing a strong feeling of euphoria, meaning it lives up to its namesake. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t hesitate to partake in some euphoria any day.

3. Herojuana

Many have suggested that cannabis, in its many forms, could save the world, and thus be our hero. It only makes sense to pay tribute to this ideal with such a strain as Herojuana. The word conveys thoughts of strength and justice and a more sensible world, making it a great name for a strain. An indica known for its pain-numbing and relaxing effects, it is said to have a strong herbal/earthy flavor. Sounds like the kind of strain you smoke to take the edge off at the end of the day and let the pain and stress melt away. My hero!

4. Romping Goddess

A bright field of yellow flowers stretches as far as the eye can see, contrasted against a vivid blue sky. In the distance you can see her, frolicking towards you, green, leafy, covered in crystals… whoops, sorry. Every time I hear this strain name I get a little carried away. I can’t help but succumb to the imagery that Romping Goddess invokes. Playful and ethereal, this strain name is both creative and invokes a sense of joy. The strain itself is known to have a powerful high and a nice fruity, piney taste and scent. New life goal? To smoke some Romping Goddess and then be a romping goddess through a field on a nice summer day.

5. Remedy

Through all of life’s ups and downs, cannabis remains an answer for much of what ails you. Is there any more fitting a name for a strain, then Remedy? A high CBD strain with a lemon-pine scent, this strain is excellent for providing relief for various ailments while offering a state of mellow relaxation. I know cannabis has been my personal remedy many times, and it certainly is for countless people around the world. Nail, meet hammer, cause this strain name is right on the mark.

Five of the Worst Strain Names

1. Agent Orange

For those of you who don’t know, Agent Orange was an herbicide manufactured by Monsanto and used in a warfare program by the U.S. military in the Vietnam war. Its effects were horrific, leaving generations of Vietnamese and U.S. soldiers to suffer brutal side effects such as severe birth defects, cancers and death. There are people alive today who are still suffering the effects of this poison. It’s pretty much one of the last things I want to associate with my bud, but someone decided to name a strain Agent Orange nevertheless, meaning it makes the ‘Worst Strain Names’ list. The strain is said to have a very citrus smell and flavor, but all I can think about is cannabis coated in Agent Orange poison, reminiscent of Paraquat in the 60’s. I understand the pun attempt they were going for, but trust me when I say there is no shortage of better and more appetizing ways they could have incorporated the word ‘orange’.

2. Cat Piss

Cat piss, as any cat owner or friend knows, is one of the worst smells, and as it turns out, the Cat Piss strain doesn’t smell like roses either. With a smell palate said to include such gems as ammonia and skunk, perhaps this strain name serves more as a warning than a poor attempt at creativity. That being said, it is reported to offer an uplifting cerebral effect. Still, the name itself is far from appetizing. And we can’t forget its cousin, Super Cat Piss… I think I’ll pass.

3. BC Roadkill

British Columbia is known for their premium quality cannabis, so when I hear BC Roadkill, I can only think one thing: is this the shit they scraped off the road to feed to the rest of us? In reality this is a top-shelf bud known for its super stinky scent of  citrus and a strong relaxing buzz that won’t knock you out. Sounds great right? This is one strain name that can definitely be called misleading. I wouldn’t ever equate ‘roadkill’ with ‘top shelf’, unless I was a vulture.

4. Abusive OG

When I think of cannabis, I think of peace and euphoria and feeling good. A word that summarizes the opposite of all that? Abusive OG. The name of this strain makes me feel like I won’t be feelin‘ too good after smoking this. Am I going to be hittin‘ it or is it going to be hittin‘ me? The bud itself is said to be highly relaxing with an intense mental haziness. Going on the name alone though, this is a strain I would pass up for something that sounds a little less awful.

5. Chernobyl

The word Chernobyl should conjure thoughts of the nuclear power plant disaster in Ukraine which displaced hundreds of thousands of people and caused the death and long-term, negative health effects and birth defects of many others. People are still suffering the effects of this incident today, which is also the worst nuclear power plant disaster in history. When I think of Chernobyl, I think of destruction and disaster and radiation, lots and lots of radiation. I certainly don’t think about weed! The strain Chernobyl is a sativa-dominant bud with a flavor and smell of lime. Yet all I can think is: is this bud radioactive? Did you grow it at the site of a nuclear disaster? Radiation is about as unappetizing as it gets in my book. This strain names misses the mark by miles and miles of uninhabitable radioactive wasteland.

So there you have it, weedists. Five of the best and worst strain names. The best cry out for you to smoke them; the worst can make you second guess partaking in some otherwise dank nug.

So tell me in the comments, what would you add or subtract from this list?