Cannabis Creates Happy Bowels

Disclaimer: This is an article about bowel movements. I will try and choose my phrasing gingerly and employ euphemism where appropriate, but seeing as the topic of this piece is shitting, you’re probably just going to have to deal with it.

For years I have noticed that after my morning smoke, I ususally, immediately need to crap. It’s very noticeable. In fact, I will sometimes use the toilet upon waking and have a moderately satisfying evacuation then I will go have a bong rip. I’ll then need to return to the toilet almost right away and it is usually a very satisfying evacuation.

My wife (who used to smoke cigarettes and who currently smokes weed, albeit very lightly) commented that when she had her morning cigarette, she experienced the same, shall we say, posterior urgency.

It got me wondering if smoking itself engendered this effect or if cannabis had a special property that made it work so well. Science to the rescue!

One source states, “Cannabinoids are antispasmodic. Sedate when there is irritation. Relax the smooth muscles. The relaxing effects of THC can help your intestines pass bulk bowel movements much easier and more quickly because the cannabinoid (THC) relaxes the nerves in the intestinal wall. There is a theory that THC helps the stomach digest and process foods more easily.”

Apparently, constipation is one of the most historically prevalent indicators for cannabis use. In medical speak, “indicator” means symptom that might benefit from treatment. There are references to cannabis applications for constipation in many historical medical books dating back to Emperor Shennong in 2300 BCE.

Maybe it’s just as simple as the fight/flight, feed/breed states of being. Psychology tells us that we have two extremes of being: survival and procreation. In a survival state, your body is amped with adrenaline and other hormones to turn you into a superhuman temporarily. You can run faster, jump higher and complete feats of strength you could never do in a calm state. It’s the “holy shit that bear is gonna eat me” state of being. Then there is the relaxed, procreative state where your body desires food, sex and rest. This phenomenon operates more like a light switch than a dimmer. We are generally either in panic or relaxation. Digestion is just easier when you’re relaxed.

Cannabis is remarkable at chilling people out, so that alone might lead to satisfaction on the throne.

I guess, in the end, it doesn’t really matter why it works. It just does.

Put one more check in the “This Plant is a Miracle” column.