Great Edibles Recipes: Cracker Snackers

I first ate the fruits of this recipe sans cannabis at the ripe age of ten or eleven. I had fortuitously befriended a new girl in my class who promptly invited me to her house with the beguiling friendliness reserved only for those of midwestern origins. Her mother and father referred to each other as “Mama” and “Papa’” respectively, and insisted we all do the same. On the first of what would be many unhealthy afternoons spent at my new friend’s house “Mama” made us these. She called them cracker snackers, and upon tasting the ambrosia, I immediately opted to trade my oxygen supply for the inhalation of cracker snacks. I suggest making these in the company of others lest you do the same and spend the next four days peeing in cups, too medicated to leave your room.

Here’s What You Need:

• Approx 40 Saltine crackers or 4-6 sheets of matzo depending on the whether or not your indulgence is pre or post Passover
• 1 cup (2 sticks or 8 ounces) cannabutter (or butter for non-medicated), cut into a few large pieces
• 1 cup packed light brown sugar
• 1 ½ cups chocolate chips (milk is preferable, though semi- or bittersweet works fine for the heart healthy and/or finer palettes)
• A dash of salt if using unsalted matzo

How to Make Medicated Cracker Snackers:

Preheat the oven to 375°F and line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil or parchment paper.

Arrange the saltine crackers 8 X 5 on the cookie sheet, though depending on the size of your cookie sheet you may need to adjust to an alternating pattern of 6 rows containing any number of saltines adding up to the aforementioned 40 crackers.

In a small saucepan, bring butter and sugar (and the salt if using matzo) to a boil and continue to boil for about three minutes, or until the sugar is dissolved completely and the mixture has turned a deep caramel color.

Without cooling, pour the butter-sugar mixture over the neatly arranged saltines and bake at 375°F for 5-6 minutes. While the saltines bubble happily in the oven, open the bag of chocolate chips and eat a couple. Throw some in the air, catch them in your mouth or miss and eat them off the floor. After five to six minutes of this, remove the crackers from the oven.

Sprinkle on the remainder of the chocolate chips. It’s imperative that the chocolate chip sprinkling occurs immediately to ensure full melting potential is met. Once said chips have melted, spread the melted chocolate with a spatula (I prefer the white plastic variety—either the small or medium sized). Allow crackers to cool for as long as your self-control lasts and enjoy.

Check out other posts from Weedist’s Great Recipes While High series!